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In 2017 I lost a job that I loved. &nbsp;One that supported me for nearly 40 years. &nbsp;A job I didn’t want to leave, but I had to leave because I had been victimised by a narcissist for decades and one day I lost my shit so badly that my doctor put me on disability for 3 months. &nbsp;Sadly, I had to choose my own health over my beloved job and that was that.&nbsp;In the days that followed, I had nothing to do except putter around the house working on projects to keep myself busy. &nbsp;I looked for work, but there were few options for a 60-year-old nearing retirement. &nbsp;There was only so much cleaning I could do and soon, I found myself lost and depressed, wondering what it was I should be doing with my life. &nbsp;I was crying all the time and not sleeping, constantly thinking about all the things that come with losing a major income. &nbsp;<figure id="figure-5eph4luo15rmgkuj4z2" class=""><img id="5eph4luo15rmgkuj4z2" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/19HWk6NkH9yFxNRlUB5hRlbTe7k4zg9ZteUmNtwv3fuI1uU3IIVy6meCfY20nW9d.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="null" data-positiony="null" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/19HWk6NkH9yFxNRlUB5hRlbTe7k4zg9ZteUmNtwv3fuI1uU3IIVy6meCfY20nW9d.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Sometimes, when I’m confused, at a crossroads, or feeling stuck and needing guidance, I use my old set of I Ching cards called The Little Book That Tells the Truth (Richard Gill 1993). &nbsp;If you aren’t familiar with I Ching, it’s an ancient Chinese oracle or means of divination or fortune telling. &nbsp;It may sound silly, but there are times when I cast a reading, and the results are like a “smack upside the head” with stone-cold accuracy.&nbsp;It was dangerous for meEvery reading since the 1990’s is recorded in a journal, and on this particularly dismal day in 2017, I wrote about my job and wanting to ask for the severance pay to which I was entitled. &nbsp;I knew that dealing with my old boss was dangerous for me, so I was reluctant to approach the subject but needed, and earned, that money.<figure id="figure-ajdfqez62mgkul972" class=""><img id="ajdfqez62mgkul972" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/39mtLcH7FiQHKT2D8JltNTcWo2CgAjSdbmVLTttzfLmSkL8McJGdDAb2xTMPmROc.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/39mtLcH7FiQHKT2D8JltNTcWo2CgAjSdbmVLTttzfLmSkL8McJGdDAb2xTMPmROc.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>The result of my reading told me to stop struggling, and that I should surrender to the situation. It was time for calm and quiet. &nbsp;It took this little book, a trusted confidant, to show me that I was struggling to control the uncontrollable. &nbsp;Trying to control the outcome of me leaving the job was making me miserable with burden and despair. &nbsp;There were no answers.It was now time for me to surrender and give up fighting the stream of energy that was carrying me through this life. &nbsp;I needed to learn how to relax and have faith that everything was going to be ok. &nbsp;It was now time to trust and just “let it be”.Let it beI made the choice to “let it be” and was ready to accept whatever was coming my way. &nbsp;When I started to surrender, it was like opening a set of heavy, dusty drapes to let the sunshine in, then throwing open the windows to let the cool breeze blow through the room. &nbsp;I felt like I could breathe deep again, with clean, invigorating fresh air. A sense of peace washed over me, and I noticed the tension in my shoulders softened and relaxed.The more I started to let it be and address the moment in which I was living instead of imagining what “might” be, the more relaxed and at peace I became. &nbsp;I also found that acknowledging my fears was better than ignoring them, so instead of pushing them away, I locked them in a box to take out when their time of concern arises. &nbsp;I work at not worrying prematurely. &nbsp; &nbsp;Tough conversations can be a struggle for me so I usually start with something like, “Can we talk? &nbsp;I’ve been struggling to have this conversation with you. &nbsp;Please listen and respond when I’m done, is that ok?” &nbsp;At some point in the conversation though, I might see that it’s a no-win situation and the best thing for me is to say, “OK. &nbsp;You win. &nbsp;It’s all good” and then I need to just let it be. My mental and emotional health are far more important than being right.Accept how things areIn a 2024 article called The Benefits of Surrender, Drs Huntington and Davis suggest that surrendering “might look like recognizing that the will of the universe and your own will do not align and that it will be easier to accept how things are unfolding than to continue trying to change them.” (Psychology Today, 07 November 2024)To put this idea to practice, let’s say I have a good friend who is always late for lunch which pisses me off. &nbsp; There’s not much point of getting upset because I already know she’s going to be late, so isn’t it better for me to surrender and accept that my lovely pal will probably be late to her own funeral? &nbsp;Of course, I could confront her, but I adore my friend and considering the possible outcomes of the conversation, I think accepting her annoying quirk is the better option.It takes courage to surrender because I can feel defenceless and exposed, but it also requires strength and determination, and a willingness to just “let it be”. &nbsp;If my husband and I have a disagreement, I will usually be the first to wave the “white flag”. &nbsp;For my own wellbeing, surrendering the argument is my best option. &nbsp;My peace of mind is more important than my pride. &nbsp;Some people need to be right and I’m not one of them.Peace of mind is more importantLetting go isn’t giving up, it’s taking control of myself and how I react to things. &nbsp;I have used the saying, “Let go, let God”, in the past and it helps me loosen the grip of worry that stops me from embracing life. And it works for any spiritual path you have or have not chosen.<figure id="figure-sc6yd0nltmgkup1yu" class=""><img id="sc6yd0nltmgkup1yu" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/34wrKrqi7mVu5M7wUft2azxW2PYxQMFSCpE3F6xMtwtLM3dH3JGgGHzNCZtK3sox.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/34wrKrqi7mVu5M7wUft2azxW2PYxQMFSCpE3F6xMtwtLM3dH3JGgGHzNCZtK3sox.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>In the case of my good friend who’s always late, surrendering might be like this. &nbsp;“I love you so much, but you need to know that your constant lateness and disregard for my time is rude and annoying. &nbsp;I accept this about you and I’m moving on, but you need to know how I feel.” &nbsp;My surrender has now controlled the entire situation. &nbsp;She knows it’s unacceptable behaviour but that I’m willing to overlook it because I love her (and, she knows all my secrets!!!) &nbsp; I practice surrendering by telling myself, “Di, it’s going to be ok. &nbsp;It’s nothing you can’t handle.” And sometimes I’ll mouth the words, “It’s never as bad as you imagine.” &nbsp;At bedtime, I give thanks and ask that “the signs be clearly shown to me” so I can follow where they lead, but I no longer feel the need to control everything in my life because I have faith that I will be guided to my destination.&nbsp;Another way to look at surrendering is on a more basic level. Let’s say I want to challenge myself at the gym and add another 10kg to my barbell. I’m going to struggle to push those weights above my head and at some point, I’ll need to surrender and stop lifting, but pushing my boundaries within reasonable limits is a sign of personal growth, whether at the gym or in a personal conversation. &nbsp;The struggle is real but the surrender is sweet. &nbsp;<blockquote>Surrender is a journey from outer turmoil to inner peace.— SRI CHINMOY</blockquote><figure id="figure-rvsl91ybwmgkurien" class=""><img id="rvsl91ybwmgkurien" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2eXEnJYIhZCJtD2siMPxbMEdqcaWqkZbYC1kyPQdytDgcD1uEbaFPCVHLO5WocDV.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2eXEnJYIhZCJtD2siMPxbMEdqcaWqkZbYC1kyPQdytDgcD1uEbaFPCVHLO5WocDV.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Life is never a straight line. &nbsp;It’s rarely what I expect and there are always curve balls like leaking roofs and vet bills, insurance payments and flat tires. &nbsp;Recognising that I was fighting a fate over which I had no control was a waste of my precious juju, and it damaged the way I felt about myself and the world around me. &nbsp;I learned that my struggles demonstrate will and determination, and that my surrendering shows bravery and faith in myself and my destiny. &nbsp;&nbsp;These days, it’s just best for me to let it be and stop struggling.&nbsp;<blockquote>What’s fer ya will nae go by ya.An old Scottish saying</blockquote>Note – there are many types of struggles. &nbsp;Some people struggle to put food on the table whilst others struggle as they watch a loved one wither away. &nbsp;This post makes no attempt to compare the struggles of a privileged white woman to those less fortunate than myself. It’s just an example of how I dealt with and continue dealing with difficult situations. &nbsp;1- &nbsp; Psycohology Today<a data-mce-href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-for-happiness/202312/the-benefits-of-surrender" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-for-happiness/202312/the-benefits-of-surrender" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-for-happiness/202312/the-benefits-of-surrender</a>

Struggle and surrender

There’s a grain of truth hidden within the harvesting of wheat. Valuable kernels must be separated from the chaff. Light enough to be carried away in the wind, it’s hollow and ultimately useless. The separation is not decorative; it focuses on value. The modern practice of cutting out the chaff in life is something I have adopted. Trimming life’s excess is bringing me much needed clarity and power. I can finally see growth again, but it’s not easy to let go.<figure id="figure-dv2vlg8p5mgf65qfs"><img id="dv2vlg8p5mgf65qfs" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/9vpuknk789LiV0gli2JfeG2gAlUIvgkmdLL43HJtTF7FkSsWmAmQ23oaAKYTssSL.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/9vpuknk789LiV0gli2JfeG2gAlUIvgkmdLL43HJtTF7FkSsWmAmQ23oaAKYTssSL.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Accumulating chaff happens quietly and without malice. It could come in the form of over commitment, material possessions or even the constant drip feed of social media straight into your veins. My chaff? Toxic relationships. Relationships I would be the first to tell my friends or family to cut at the knees, but I somehow don’t afford myself the same advice. I have a season ticket to the ride of narcissism and it’s time to get off.Let’s talk friendships first. I need a bit of warming up before I slip into the subject of family issues. I absolutely love nothing more than being a supportive friend. I will give you everything I have, physically and mentally, and expect nothing in return.&nbsp;Not setting boundariesThere are no conditions with me. That’s where my downfall is, not setting boundaries and allowing myself to be so open to being take advantage of. They only make contact when they need something. They don’t celebrate your achievements but happy to run up miles in emotional support without even asking how your day is. I find myself condoning their toxic behaviour they are so boastful of because it’s easier to be passive than have the moral balls to tell them the truth. Keeping these types of friendships costs both patience and attention.&nbsp;<figure id="figure-fkvmk146ymgf670z2"><img id="fkvmk146ymgf670z2" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/88ClZyrd1bJQ2D7VOHjh1Nm1N60ijcJEBxEBRwNOkKFEYE8N5TzAwiS2BGyhKCit.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="null" data-positiony="null" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/88ClZyrd1bJQ2D7VOHjh1Nm1N60ijcJEBxEBRwNOkKFEYE8N5TzAwiS2BGyhKCit.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Over the years I constantly ran on empty trying to be the everything they demanded but I finally cut the chaff and started focussing on nurturing the balanced friendships I had. Cutting out one sided or toxic friendships doesn’t mean I am a heartless bitch, it just means I honour the friendships that are reciprocal. It has deepened my bond with people who truly align with my values and support my personal growth. The quality of my friendships matters so much more these days than the quantity. A smaller circle of real connection sustains you in ways a larger diluted crowd rarely does.&nbsp;<figure id="figure-w14mzcwfuomgf6e2g7"><img id="w14mzcwfuomgf6e2g7" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2226996582/photo/combine-harvester-chaff-spreader-with-corn-residue-being-discharged-in-cornfield.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=jYqFhbSClx-UaI8xfBmMzM8Jedne6i13GJ_3cowbRZ0=" alt="Combine harvester chaff spreader with corn residue being discharged in cornfield." title="Combine harvester chaff spreader with corn residue being discharged in cornfield." class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2226996582/photo/combine-harvester-chaff-spreader-with-corn-residue-being-discharged-in-cornfield.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=jYqFhbSClx-UaI8xfBmMzM8Jedne6i13GJ_3cowbRZ0=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Deep routed fearWhen it comes to cutting out the chaff in my family, well that was a much more difficult cut to make. It was more blunt force trauma. Not clean. Not quick. Zero stars, would not revisit. I just often wonder why I let the suffering go on so long. ‘Respect your elders’ was probably the main reason I kept quiet, intertwined with deep rooted fear of the consequences should I ever build up the courage to fight for a happier home life.&nbsp;Parents are meant to be your safe place. Fearing the physical or mental repercussions you face if you, God forbid, you looked in his direction with any sort of attitude. Belt. Breathing quietly in your bunk bed cuddled up to your little brother, making sure you don’t laugh too loud to avoid any angry consequences. Belt. Late home by five minutes as I run as fast as my feet can take me while wetting myself scared of the reaction. Belt. Belt. Belt.&nbsp;Manipulation was the name of the game. With fear there was power. Power he held up until last year when I finally took back my control. The narcissistic mask finally slipped where he was exposed for who he really is, and I was able to finally see the damage he had inflicted. It wasn’t comfortable viewing, and I ended up in a very deep hole. A hole I was convinced I would never be able to crawl out of.&nbsp;Reevaluating my valueBut with the support of my steadfast husband, my fearless mother, my supportive stepfather and the reason I breathe, my son, I am navigating life easier these days. Reaching out for help is never easy but I have found a lot of support through a mental health nurse who I see regularly and the medication I take isn’t a solution but is certainly helping me to push down the fear and let me live a better life. Letting go and reevaluating my value has made more room for a calmer foundation for gentle healing, a clearer mind and hopefully long term sustained wellbeing.<figure id="figure-8d7kxlmx2pmgf6fw88"><img id="8d7kxlmx2pmgf6fw88" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/18G1MA8RW7FuvTKt4H3lZ0CBlnTdmVi3jwGhKRsXRmzMDvY7I4eSe2h0TjdMV1dj.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 100%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="100%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/18G1MA8RW7FuvTKt4H3lZ0CBlnTdmVi3jwGhKRsXRmzMDvY7I4eSe2h0TjdMV1dj.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 100%;"></figure>We all have chaff. Just sit for a moment and think about the chaff you have in your life. Whether its friendships, relationships, financial, material possessions or even digital life. Chaff can come in all shapes and sizes. Some are easier to recognise but harder to release. Clothing bought on a whim, gadgets that you didn’t even unbox and a cupboard full of forgotten memorabilia. They compress the space you live in but can be pruned down by small steps. A monthly charity shop run is a practical first step or even selling unwanted/unused items online.&nbsp;Making room for things that matterCutting the chaff doesn’t always have to be dramatic, you are only making room for the things that matter. Each object in this case that is released is a small reclaiming of space and attention. Financial chaff is often invisible until you look. From subscriptions you signed up for that you forgot about, recurring payments for services you no longer use or a debt that follows you like a dark cloud. Get your head out the sand and deal with it. Get those bank statements and run a short audit. Cancel unused subscriptions, reach out for financial support from professionals and take control of the financial chaff before it takes control of you.&nbsp;<figure id="figure-r3o4sz0iesmgf6hbge"><img id="r3o4sz0iesmgf6hbge" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/7FrJ3QMFkP5Fq3Z5bUdcqgzko59yY9xzha2fBorcyYRgrNyYLGhbP3rAqt7z5fLv.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/7FrJ3QMFkP5Fq3Z5bUdcqgzko59yY9xzha2fBorcyYRgrNyYLGhbP3rAqt7z5fLv.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Cutting life’s chaff is not a one-time act but a practice of regular pruning. Instead of using your energy to mourn what you lose during this process concentrate on celebrating what you keep. New shoots of growth will come, just be patient. Begin with one small cut this week and watch how space grows.So, for me I will continue to prune and remove the chaff in my life when necessary. I can now see my value. I owe myself inner calm. I am the kernel, and so are you.<figure id="figure-sflwrrplemgf6kait"><img id="sflwrrplemgf6kait" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/23B7glnccqYZOvTs1y2lh8uuzcse1JRMITA6oIWH75SCNqc2HCk77yaBjFefl5KX.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl selected" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/23B7glnccqYZOvTs1y2lh8uuzcse1JRMITA6oIWH75SCNqc2HCk77yaBjFefl5KX.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-mce-selected="1"></figure>Copyright © 2025 The Crone Network All rights reserved.

Cutting Out The Chaff

<h3> &nbsp; Women need other women</h3>Like millions of others, I’m addicted to Facebook. I check my memories then my feed every morning with coffee. When we moved to Scotland, I posted photos of our beautiful new country in my favourite group of older women which quickly turned into an offer to host a group of Crones who wanted to cross the pond for some Scottish adventures.&nbsp; &nbsp; There is something magical when a group of older women get together, so I started planning an arranged holiday, crafted some promotional digital “flyers” and got permission to post them in a Facebook group. &nbsp;Over the course of a few weeks, there were over 140 Crones signed up for the trip.&nbsp; &nbsp; But then Covid stopped the world from turning and humanity was thrust into isolation and a whole new way of living. I was forced to cancel the dormitory-style accommodation but asked them to hold the deposit to ensure we had a place to stay when travel was possible again, expecting Covid to end after a few months. &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;<h3>Sister-strangers&nbsp; &nbsp;</h3>By the time we were allowed to travel abroad, the once lengthy list had been reduced to just 11 women and me, so I shifted gears and started looking for a smaller accommodation and contacted the vendors needed to organise a successful group vacation for a cluster of sister-stranger Crones.&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;<figure id="figure-kr1hwb8bkfmfdrkwft"><img id="kr1hwb8bkfmfdrkwft" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/24M6FnsmwOyVBgBj9wnqciMDXrMeapfPQmtNszFmNUcX3mwhrFFA1cenx99FDUII.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 85%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="85%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/24M6FnsmwOyVBgBj9wnqciMDXrMeapfPQmtNszFmNUcX3mwhrFFA1cenx99FDUII.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 85%;"></figure> &nbsp; Six weeks before the trip, we arranged a video chat so we could meet each other in person. Most of us had never met before so this short online meetup helped to relax any concerns that lingered about the trip. I was able to secure an amazing country house with enough bedrooms to give each Crone her own private space. Everyone was responsible for getting to the Edinburgh Airport where transportation was ready to take us to our home for the week.&nbsp; &nbsp; Some ladies decided to arrive in Edinburgh a few days early, giving them time to explore the ancient city before we met for Crone Fest. &nbsp;Six women worked together to arrange a 3-day guided tour of Glencoe and Skye after our gathering ended, and one travelled on to Ireland! It made sense to extend a visit to Europe if possible, and what started as a group of strangers evolved into fun travel companions and meaningful friendships.&nbsp; <h3>Time to mingle&nbsp;</h3> We arrived at the house mid-afternoon, and our bags were taken to our private rooms, giving us time to mingle for the first time. In the evening, we enjoyed catered “ploughman’s platters” and cocktails were flowing as we told stories about our lives and explored the massive manor which was filled with antiques and interesting memorabilia. A Pennsylvania Crone brought her bagpipes and played a traditional Scottish tune as we enjoyed each other’s company. After a few hours, we each went to our rooms for a much-needed restful sleep. &nbsp; &nbsp; <figure id="figure-1gnz9ojbbgmfdrmjm9"><img id="1gnz9ojbbgmfdrmjm9" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/34pGM8EpSXAB5KsnSyLhMpXqlCopEgLZznV5OzYxlo0QUdzYCSJf0zUTwLhLPknX.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 10%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="10%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/34pGM8EpSXAB5KsnSyLhMpXqlCopEgLZznV5OzYxlo0QUdzYCSJf0zUTwLhLPknX.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 10%;"></figure> &nbsp; &nbsp; On Sunday morning, I made a “full Scottish breakfast” and we enjoyed coffee and tea around the large kitchen table. The crumpets with butter were so popular, we needed to restock both several times. &nbsp;Crones and crumpets, who knew? &nbsp;The kitchen itself was tricked out with everything a professional chef could imagine. It had an AGA stove, a walk-in refrigerator, and a huge assortment of pots, plates, and glasses in every shape and size. Two professional dishwashers made the community clean-up an easy task, and soon we were off to explore Scotland together. We would meet back each night to share food together and talk about our day. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<figure id="figure-w17id2jewimfdroiww"><img id="w17id2jewimfdroiww" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/14ql9ZVEBAWchjf1xWBdgUt1Ei24iyMYEMj8s6QDGozp3Ndqtvx16qInveBHhfjM.jpg" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 25%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="25%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/14ql9ZVEBAWchjf1xWBdgUt1Ei24iyMYEMj8s6QDGozp3Ndqtvx16qInveBHhfjM.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 25%;"></figure> We limited our scheduled activities so we could gather in smaller groups to explore a particular destination. A few women went that way whilst others went this way, and others stayed back at the house to soak in a deep bathtub or cozy up with a book in an overstuffed chair. After we said our goodbyes, I collected photos from and designed and published a Crone Fest book of escapades which has now become a tradition for all who attend.&nbsp;<h3>&nbsp; Bonding experiences&nbsp; &nbsp; </h3>Feeling beautiful is an important part of embracing our age, so for Crone Fest 2024, we had an optional photoshoot with a local professional. The Crones were encouraged to think about how they wanted to be represented, we had assorted fabrics, headpieces, and jewellery on hand for them to use to enhance their look. We found locations in and around the house for our setting and helped each other get ready for our turn. &nbsp;We had fun playing dress-up and now have pictures of ourselves looking fabulous. &nbsp; &nbsp; <figure id="figure-9n8sbvbhlmfdrpqmw"><img id="9n8sbvbhlmfdrpqmw" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/173b1Y7qiDinBgBRcJg7Otzsl6al39QReon0mmh9yPcT6Am4hlgJ8sXNAlvsQQGH.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/173b1Y7qiDinBgBRcJg7Otzsl6al39QReon0mmh9yPcT6Am4hlgJ8sXNAlvsQQGH.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure> &nbsp; Women thrive when they’re together, especially mature women like us who’ve “been there, done that” and don’t have time for bullshit head games. We are authentic when we feel safe, and hundreds of scientific studies have proven the benefits, if not the real need, of female social gathering. &nbsp;Supportive connections improve mental and emotional health because it helps to know we’re not alone in our struggles. &nbsp;Those connections reduce stress and anxiety and help increase self-worth and personal value. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; There’s also space for personal growth within a group of Crones. We share coping strategies, talk about our beliefs, and ways to look inside ourselves and each other for answers. We mentor others when we share and inspire motivation by showing our vulnerability. We can be held accountable for our words and actions within a group of older women, receiving helpful criticism without judgement. Friendships, in whatever capacity, are necessary for a woman’s overall wellbeing. &nbsp; &nbsp; Due to fears of re-entering the US from abroad, we cancelled the 2025 Crone Fest - Scotland and rescheduled for May 2026. There will be a fall Crone Fest in 2026 as well. &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; These Scottish gatherings have been hugely successful, and several Crones are returning for another adventure in the spring, but the world needs more Crone Clusters. I’ve seen first-hand how these gatherings uplift us. I’ve read too many stories of older women who feel alone and isolated, and there are too many of us with love to share but no one to share it with. We need more connections, more resources, more useful information, and that’s why I’ve been building The Crone Network. &nbsp;These gatherings are important.&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;<h3> Crone Clusters&nbsp; &nbsp;</h3> Wouldn’t it be great if we could have monthly video chats with a small group of Crones? Maybe an overnight stay at a hotel once every few months? What about digital pen-pals or reading groups that have coffee every six weeks at a local café? An online Wine and Whine club where we air our frustrations over glasses of Chardonnay? All we need are donations of time and organising skills to help arrange a Crone Cluster in your region and we’re off to making the world a better place! &nbsp; &nbsp; This has been and will remain, a not-for-profit venture, with a 2026 goal of registering as a charity specifically designed to help older women by providing connections, creativity, story sharing, and useful information. Long-term objectives include a marketplace to sell handmade goods, and a robust resource centre of helpful links, and conversations about developing Crone Community housing.&nbsp; &nbsp; <figure id="figure-abfoswl3j3mfdrs173" class=""><img id="abfoswl3j3mfdrs173" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/90tULolQtn9rh9jhozVwpBVRGe4EooomLXH2c5BSAEyIBRIhcJ4VwbBiDdEr1vuS.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/90tULolQtn9rh9jhozVwpBVRGe4EooomLXH2c5BSAEyIBRIhcJ4VwbBiDdEr1vuS.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure> &nbsp; I can’t imagine life without Crones. To have sisterhood with strangers that don’t judge me and who understand my struggles because they’ve had them too, is truly one of the priceless gifts of Cronehood. But it takes more than a dream to get The Crone Network moving, so I’m looking for your help.&nbsp;<blockquote> &nbsp; &nbsp; “How can your dreams ever come true if you don’t believe in them?” &nbsp; Sam Moore&nbsp; &nbsp;</blockquote> For more information about how you can help The Crone Network, just email contact@thecronenetwork.org so we can talk about the possibilities. Time donations come in slots of 2 or 4 hours and will be customised to maximise your potential. &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; If you’re interested in attending either the spring or fall gathering of Crone Fest 2026, please click on the page link above. Space is limited.&nbsp; Copyright © 2025 The Crone Network&nbsp; &nbsp;All rights reserved. &nbsp; &nbsp;

Feel Good Gatherings

Surreal Collage of Woman with Binocular Hands

Was that a twitch? &nbsp; Ahh... &nbsp;the good old days when sex was spontaneous and great fun. I remember it well. Those days are gone but I’m still attracted to people of all shapes and sizes because I’m old, not dead. &nbsp; &nbsp; Some of my friends post photos of handsome men with captions like, “Sharing to my girlfriends, you’re welcome!” &nbsp;but most of those guys do nothing for me. They’re handsome but they don’t have chest hair and they’re too lean for my taste. I’m physically attracted to the bad-boy type of man who could throw me over his shoulder and smack my ass as he carries me away to wonderland. It’s a fantasy, and it’s perfectly normal.&nbsp; &nbsp; My husband is a proud veteran, and we attend regimental gatherings once or twice a year. It’s nice seeing the guys in their kilts and grey beards, but I was introduced to this one guy who still makes me blush. He was big, like a polar bear, and his voice was deep and captivating. He introduced his wife and teenage daughter, then set them on the sofa so he could mingle with his pals, drinking whisky and telling tales of their former glory. &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;<figure id="figure-rva18f92enmfdrdznd"><img id="rva18f92enmfdrdznd" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2541MariztozRV2y8a4l41BG9WSkgHwXCAcMpcot26jgGO5g2LhME0ZyU1nQGwJ7.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined% 0%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined%" data-positiony="0%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2541MariztozRV2y8a4l41BG9WSkgHwXCAcMpcot26jgGO5g2LhME0ZyU1nQGwJ7.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined% 0%;"></figure><h3> &nbsp; &nbsp; Heat in my cheeks&nbsp; &nbsp; </h3>While my husband was chatting away about battle scars and old bosses, I sat alone by fireplace when Mr. Polar decided to sit in the oversized chair next to me. I tried to stay calm as we both twisted in our seats to face each other, and I could feel the heat in my cheeks, and to my great surprise, a twitch from my Pearl. &nbsp; &nbsp; He was a bit sloppy with his whisky breath, big, beautiful bushy beard, and protruding belly, but the way his pleated wool kilt draped between his enormous legs had Pearl wondering what was hiding under that heavy fabric. His horsehair and silver sporran* hung between his legs over the kilt, which just added to her excitement. In his booming brogue, he offered me a sip from his flask which I did not refuse. I don’t like whisky, but I swallowed like a champ and the sweetness of the eye candy made up for its nasty taste.&nbsp; &nbsp; If felt obvious that I was swooning over this giant man, but nobody seemed to notice, not even our spouses. We chatted for a while then checked on our spouses and before long, the piper called us for dinner. I was grateful that our hot, steamy voltage exchange was broken because I was quite turned on and I could tell my panties showed evidence that Pearl was in good form despite her age.&nbsp; &nbsp; <figure id="figure-chwwghk5cmmfqsed83"><img id="chwwghk5cmmfqsed83" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2168531402/photo/piper-wearing-traditional-scottish-dress.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=dEtY7-pwmy7iJwmv7LudicqL46Mwcyj0c0baXnLVu44=" alt="Piper Wearing Traditional Scottish Dress" title="Piper Wearing Traditional Scottish Dress" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2168531402/photo/piper-wearing-traditional-scottish-dress.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=dEtY7-pwmy7iJwmv7LudicqL46Mwcyj0c0baXnLVu44=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>The piper ushered us into the ballroom where Sam and I found our assigned seats. My discomfort was heightened when Mrs. Polar sat immediately to my right with her husband and daughter to her right. We exchanged pleasantries and there was a small part of my “girl code” ethic that wanted to confess my lusting after her husband. Of course I didn’t say anything, and it was innocent anyway.&nbsp; &nbsp; Most of us had booked rooms for the night at the location, so we continued socialising after dinner. Everyone had formed small groups as the drinking and laughing continued, so I found a seat and just watched everyone enjoying themselves. Within minutes, Mr. Polar came and sat across from me. I was unnerved and twitching and stumbling over my words though he probably didn’t hear me anyway. I took another big swig of his flask, swallowing so hard I nearly spat the amber fluid in his face, and he chuckled to see me in distress as I tried to regain my composure. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; Soon after, Mrs. Polar came to collect her smashed husband and guided his bulk out the door. Sam and I said our “goodnights” and went upstairs to our lovely estate room. &nbsp;We climbed into a comfortable king size bed, and I told him about my attraction to Mr. Polar. He chuckled and reassured me, “I saw you over there acting like a schoolgirl. I knew you’d be attracted to Polar.” &nbsp;He reminded me, “it’s a good thing they were playing the pipes and not the blues. We both know what happens to you during that combo.” and he laughed even harder and reached to grab my left tit for a soft squeeze. We spooned and both had a good night’s sleep.&nbsp; &nbsp; <h3>He only came once a month&nbsp; &nbsp; </h3>This kind of instant attraction has only happened once before. We had an accountant who’d come to the office and prepare our taxes and such. He only came once a month, but we enjoyed deep conversations and laughed a lot together. Neither one of us were happy in our marriages and one day he told me he was divorcing because she had done something cruel and unforgivable. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Some years later, I divorced as well and had a lovely apartment in a nearby seaside town. The Accountant asked me to join him at a local hall for a New Year’s Eve party and I agreed to go. I had never been on this sort of date before, so I was out of my comfort zone. &nbsp;I bought a two-piece dress for this momentous occasion. It was a black silk shift with a black and emerald sheer overdress and was pairing it with black suede pumps and a $2.00 Goodwill evening bag.&nbsp; &nbsp; On New Year’s Eve he arrived early and I wasn’t ready, so I quickly tucked into the bedroom to change into my dress. I played with my hair, wondering if I sure wear it using the crystal clip I bought, or down so my curls sit against the green, so I walked into the living room where he was eating some cookies. Not realising it could be provocative, if lifted my long curls up and then down again and asked, “Should I wear my hair up or down?” He finished chewing his Chips O’hoy and muttered, “I like it up.” &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; We had a wonderful time. The music was fantastic, and we danced all night. We had a sweet wee kiss at midnight but there was no fondling or Frenching involved. I had previously invited him to sleep on the sofa, so he came prepared with a bag and after the cab ride home, we said goodnight and went our separate ways. I made us breakfast the next morning and we had another wee kiss when he left for home. &nbsp; &nbsp; Two weeks went by before he called to ask if he’d left his watch at my place. It seemed weird that he didn’t notice his watch was missing, but I found it in the sofa where he thought it might be. We agreed he’d collect it when we came again to do our books. And before he said goodbye, he sheepishly proclaimed, “You know Di, when you came out in the green dress, I was fully aroused.”&nbsp; &nbsp;<blockquote> “You are never too old to become younger!”&nbsp; Mae West&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; </blockquote>Occasionally you meet someone and there’s an undeniable chemistry that bounces between you. It’s an animal attraction, born in every human being, and it blooms in unintentional smiles and blushed cheeks. It’s innocent but powerful, and there’s no shame in being attracted to other people. It’s the way humans are wired, and there are only a few species that live committed to a single partner. Swans are one of them and I’m not a damn swan. &nbsp; &nbsp; <figure id="figure-olw9kz1bismfdrg0a0" class=""><img id="olw9kz1bismfdrg0a0" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/30QTot3qamrbYtKUcHoEyXIdxYefaR033aPeTBUWTxZfY277MjMhERNkGSVaHa65.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/30QTot3qamrbYtKUcHoEyXIdxYefaR033aPeTBUWTxZfY277MjMhERNkGSVaHa65.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure> &nbsp; After nearly 30 years together, my Sammy still makes me blush from time to time. He knows I’m an innocent flirt and that people often find themselves charmed by someone, whether by intriguing conversation or lusty physical attraction. But when Pearl starts twitching, I’m reminded that I might be old, but I’m certainly not dead. &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; *A sporran is a traditional kilt accessory that functions like a small purse for keys and coin, and it helps keep the kilt from blowing up in Scottish winds. It’s not true that the bigger the sporran the bigger a man's cock, well, not in most men’s case.&nbsp; &nbsp; Afterthought- &nbsp; Going through photos of that night to add colour to this juicy tale has reignited Pearl in remembrance of that enchanting, titillating night. &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; Afterthought after thought-&nbsp; This story in no way suggests stepping outside your relationships.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; For more about attraction, check out this interesting article about the topic &nbsp; <a data-mce-href="https://www.scienceofpeople.com/attraction-science/" href="https://www.scienceofpeople.com/attraction-science/">https://www.scienceofpeople.com/attraction-science/&nbsp;</a> &nbsp; &nbsp; Copyright © 2025 The Crone Network &nbsp; All rights reserved.

I’m old, not dead.

&nbsp; There’s a baby photo of me sitting on the floor with a ball, and you can see that I was well fed as my cheeks were chubby, and my tummy is sticking out. In those days, we wore thick cloth diapers, safety pins, and crinkly plastic undies that went over the diaper, so I can understand why my ass would be huge at such a young age. But when I look at these old photos and see what a porky toddler I was, I wonder if I ever had a chance to be an average sized person. Maybe I’m just meant to be this size.&nbsp; &nbsp;<figure id="figure-37ppjm0lomfqpx4xj"><img id="37ppjm0lomfqpx4xj" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/35I8e0RN57XKx785RTqdOmnYALZGQuQ4S6yYqSwgdJg9oKsT6ApZDFWo49UALBnD.jpg" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined% 0%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined%" data-positiony="0%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/35I8e0RN57XKx785RTqdOmnYALZGQuQ4S6yYqSwgdJg9oKsT6ApZDFWo49UALBnD.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined% 0%;"></figure><h3> Someone to love me</h3> I spent decades trying to figure out why I didn’t care enough about myself to take better care of my body, and I kept waiting for someone to love me enough to want to help me lose weight. Now in my Cronehood, I understand that I’m the only one that loves me enough to help myself. Expecting it from other people will just lead to disappointment anyway. This is the body I have today, so either I work with what I got or give up the fight and accept that I will become disabled due to obesity. &nbsp; &nbsp; When I woke up on March 24th, 2023, I knew something was different the minute my feet hit the floor. &nbsp;I was so profoundly different that later in the day, I posted in my favourite Facebook group that I woke up feeling strange and half-jokingly asked if there was a planetary shift or something. &nbsp;Much to my surprise, I learned that Pluto had moved into Aquarius (my sign) on the 23rd which meant major changes in my life. It was only a few days later that I signed up for the “6-week body transformation” program at our local women’s gym.&nbsp; &nbsp; Being a very large woman, I was terrified to walk into a gym. Initiation included getting weighed and measured in front of other women, but I wrapped myself in thoughts of “you’re here for you and it’s none of your business what they think” and took a deep breath to step onto the stage. The gym owner jotted down my numbers, taught to calculate our daily calories, and she showed us how to use each piece of the equipment. During the week I’d book 2-3 classes then workout on Sunday mornings with the machines. Over the next 6-weeks, I lost 1.4st (20 lbs) and 12cm (abt. 5”) of fat. &nbsp; &nbsp;<h3>All those sexy endorphins&nbsp;</h3> Feeling disappointed with my weight loss, a trainer reminded me that muscle weights more than fat, so weight loss isn’t the best indicator of success, and that losing 12cm was amazing work. For 2 years, I was taking 2-3 classes a week plus a Sunday morning on the gym equipment. It is hard but I enjoy it. I guess all those sexy endorphins help me feel good about myself. Not only am I making my body stronger and warding off immobility, my mental and emotional health is greatly improved too. And all those bullshit voices in my head that say, “they’ll laugh at you” or “you can’t do that”, I just tell it to “shut the fuck up” because I’m much more capable than my lying mind wants me to believe. &nbsp; &nbsp;<blockquote> &nbsp; One day I decided that I was beautiful and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl.&nbsp; Gabourey Sidibe&nbsp;</blockquote> &nbsp; <figure id="figure-cvutm8pl5mfdr4mt6" class=""><img id="cvutm8pl5mfdr4mt6" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/39AfEdeEYJ8dHqSsMDz0s610LeIi1OuvND8WZTSShJg0FuCokXMvk9KW9V2xV8J7.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/39AfEdeEYJ8dHqSsMDz0s610LeIi1OuvND8WZTSShJg0FuCokXMvk9KW9V2xV8J7.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure> Most of the articles I find on improving the health of older women talk about “strength or resistance training” because we need stronger muscles as we age to help us do everyday things like climbing stairs, getting out of a chair, and carrying groceries. And though we can expect to lose some muscle mass, a “use it or lose it” attitude is a great way to improve my physical strength.&nbsp; &nbsp;<h3> A can of peas&nbsp; &nbsp;</h3>Training is fun and I don’t need to spend money on equipment or the gym. I can use my own body weight to start. Doing squats, lunges, push-ups, all sorts of “movement” can be done without cutting into your budget. Working my arms was easy with a can of peas in each hand, and as I got better, I filled a couple of empty milk containers with water and used them as weights. &nbsp;Lunges are great for my legs and butt, but they’re challenging for me, so I hold onto a sturdy chair or the wall, and I feel safe enough to do them without concern. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; I enjoy boxing the most because punching the shit out of a bag makes me feel powerful and invigorated, plus it’s a full body workout that builds mental focus and physical stamina. When I first started this class, I had to sit down several times because I couldn’t catch my breath, but the more I pushed myself, the easier and more enjoyable it was. I even started kick boxing. Me! The girl who failed high school gym class! &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; <figure id="figure-sl8eja0vlmfdr6q81" class=""><img id="sl8eja0vlmfdr6q81" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/25m7ZnA2sGRzuHymGy4yOIoP4r6n7n0BGAOZosO1jf6VoThS8w5ooSAFNnghoViD.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 65% 30%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="65%" data-positiony="30%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/25m7ZnA2sGRzuHymGy4yOIoP4r6n7n0BGAOZosO1jf6VoThS8w5ooSAFNnghoViD.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 65% 30%;"></figure> &nbsp; Studies prove that movement can greatly improve overall wellbeing, but there can be obstacles that stop us before we even get started. Obesity stopped me from going to the grocery store because it hurt too much to carry my own weight, and there are loads of other conditions that might prevent us from physical activity. &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; You Tube is a great source for all sorts of movement for all kinds of people. There’s chair yoga, or tai chi that is slow and rhythmic and easy on the joints. Sitting down and standing up work my legs and my core. I love music, so I put on the headphones and dance around my house. I started with the length of one song, then challenged myself to dance for 2 songs without stopping. It wasn’t long before I was dancing around the house for 30 minutes (sometimes naked). I can even dust while I dance. Is that exercise? No, it’s movement. My body needs to move. Our bodies are designed to move, that’s why our joints bend.&nbsp; &nbsp; I tried running a few times. It’s something I’d love to do, but on those courageous occasions when I tried to jog down my street, my belly fat slapped against my thigh fat and made a horrific, embarrassing noise. I knew that running wasn’t for me. But every kind of movement is good movement, so cleaning, walking the dog, raking the leaves, it’s all good movement. Queen Elizabeth took great pleasure in walking, and she credited that movement as one of the reasons for her long life.&nbsp; &nbsp;<h3>I challenged myself</h3> During those dark days of not being able to carry my own weight, I challenged myself to walk to the post box a ½ block from my house. &nbsp;I did that every day for a week. The next week I challenged myself to walk to the church 2 blocks away, it had a lovely low wall where I could sit and rest. &nbsp;Lots of times I would cry from the pain, and sometimes from the shame of being so big, but I kept going and promised that I wouldn’t stop unless I fell. &nbsp; I didn’t fall and was soon walking 3 miles, 5 times a week. &nbsp; There’s something about the word “exercise” that puts me off, so I decided to use the word “movement” instead because it sounds nicer. &nbsp;Our bodies are designed to move, that’s why our joints bend. But not every body moves easily.&nbsp; &nbsp; <figure id="figure-m2bibfxh6hmfdr81cx" class=""><img id="m2bibfxh6hmfdr81cx" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/25DWJdKA9b2AwtazTh86JgIZb5JmtQ0fPlF5KhwKd7EbTKLWnwQQiQcNAhb6WMqD.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/25DWJdKA9b2AwtazTh86JgIZb5JmtQ0fPlF5KhwKd7EbTKLWnwQQiQcNAhb6WMqD.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure> &nbsp;&nbsp; I’m still a big woman, but now I appreciate this tired old body more than ever and I’m doing what I can to help her keep moving. For me, it’s the gym 2-3 times a week, but if I couldn’t afford membership, I know there are tons of other ways to move and free training videos on the internet. &nbsp; &nbsp; I’ll be 70 in a couple of years, and it’s been too many decades since I loved my body. I accept that my legs will never be long and shapely, but they have supported me forever. My tits will never be perky like they were in the 70’s, but then, I don’t plan on having as much sex either. My belly will always spill onto my lap, but at least I don’t teeter totter when I lay on my stomach. My thigh gap closed in the 1980’s and my ass will always have cellulite, some pockets deep enough to hold a cocktail. But my feet will always be heroes.&nbsp; &nbsp; There’s not much I like about my body, but I’m going to love it whether I like it or not.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Copyright © 2025 The Crone Network &nbsp; All rights reserved.<figure id="figure-u1sscu93gbmfqqb3p3" class=""><img id="u1sscu93gbmfqqb3p3" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/15YZSeLlT6uJW4dXbbLhwv4zTQ53tUW9XEFjChNoNFdiRDoZNICY13jD3SHbay36.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/15YZSeLlT6uJW4dXbbLhwv4zTQ53tUW9XEFjChNoNFdiRDoZNICY13jD3SHbay36.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure> &nbsp; &nbsp;

Loving my body whether I like it or not...

Being brave enough to suck at something new... I’ve been working on this dream for about 3 years now, and during that time I have often felt like an imposter, like someone who doesn’t know what the hell they’re doing. And the reason I feel that way is because I have no idea what I’m doing by writing this story, this “blog post”. &nbsp;But I’m willing to take the chance and be brave enough to suck at something new.&nbsp; &nbsp; Writing is therapy for me, and I have the “gift of gab”, a trait I sometimes regret possessing. But among the threads that weave through my life, I have recognised one trait that I’m grateful to possess and that is courage. I know from experience that all I need is more courage than fear to face failure with a smile.&nbsp; &nbsp;<blockquote> “The best protection any woman can have is courage.”&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Elizabeth Cady Stanton &nbsp; &nbsp;</blockquote>Running away as a 14-year-old set me up for running away as a married woman. The pressures I took on as a 20-year-old included two toddlers (his, not mine), dealing with his ex, and in-laws that lived with us in a big old house. All that stress caused me to flee to my mom’s house in another state, not once but 6 times during our long marriage. I wasn’t brave. I ran away from what seemed an impossible situation because I was young and inexperienced. I didn’t know I had choices.&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; When the boys wanted to play sports in the local township, we signed them up for the football and baseball, and then soccer hit the scene and the boys signed up for that too. Every weekend and some school nights, I was at the ball field either cheering for the kids or helping at the refreshment stand. I loved being a mom and part of the local sporting community.&nbsp; &nbsp; Since I spent so much time there, I decided to join The Athletic Association so I could have some influence over how things were handled, especially when it came to rowdy fathers screaming inappropriate things as the kids played. Hubby and I went to one of the monthly meetings and when question time came up, I stood and said “I want to join the association. Where do I sign up?” The all-male panel of 5 looked at each other and one of them responded by saying, “You need to join the Women’s Auxiliary.” &nbsp;I asked what the auxiliary did, and the response was something about socks for cheerleaders. I left pissed off and disappointed in myself for not fighting harder. &nbsp; &nbsp; The next month I asked the same question and was again told about the auxiliary but this time I insisted and asked if the association’s bylaws included regulation that declared the forum was male only. After a few minutes of mumbling and grumbling, I was handed an application form and walked out feeling proud of myself. &nbsp; &nbsp;<h3>The courage to fight &nbsp;</h3> Finding the courage to fight for what I wanted is the reason I became the first woman member of our township’s athletic association. The following year, I volunteered to coach the pee wee soccer team. That went over like a lead balloon, but this persistent, courageous young woman stood in front of a group of men and said, “I can do this. It’s just like ice hockey!” &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; After the male coaches picked their teams, I was given “the misfits”, as they were called by the fat bastard, almighty, big cheese coach. I named us The Renegades, and our team consisted of 5- and 6-year-olds who were more interested in following the ball then playing a position, and some of them held hands as they skipped down the pitch together. It was adorable and made my heart happy. I wasn’t worried about winning, we were having fun and that’s what mattered. &nbsp; &nbsp;<figure id="figure-c2z08y91ttmfqsschw"><img id="c2z08y91ttmfqsschw" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/3186eubav48TQx4q6dwVMiNCETyu7LNiSq7zrr0K1i5Ix0MKkyve3iB2gOojgc2P.jpg" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 0%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="0%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/3186eubav48TQx4q6dwVMiNCETyu7LNiSq7zrr0K1i5Ix0MKkyve3iB2gOojgc2P.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 0%;"></figure>The following year, they didn’t need me to coach (surprise!) but 3 more women joined the athletic association, and it blossomed into a well-rounded, all-inclusive sports program for the township’s 38,000 residents. &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; <h3>Sit my fat ass down &nbsp;</h3> During that first meeting, my husband tugged my arm, encouraging me to sit down and not make a fuss, and I admit to being anxious and terrified to stand in front of a room full of men who didn’t want me there. But I had pause in that moment and ask myself, “why should I be scared to ask a simple question?” and decided that my desire to join the club was more important than my fear, so I stood up and spoke up. &nbsp;This was 1985 when nearly all sports were ruled by and played by men and boys. Can you believe I was 62 years old when I realised that I broke a glass ceiling by persistently pulling a chair from their table to sit my fat ass down at the boys-club? &nbsp;Courage allowed me to do that. &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; When I was 21, I secured a job as a billing clerk at a manufacturing company. The following year, the boss and the office manager had a big fight over a box of Christmas chocolates that came from our sales company. As a result, he fired her and told me to run a help wanted ad in the local paper. The publication time had already passed so I went home and started thinking about asking for the job instead of running the ad. &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; Feeling terrified, I walked into the office the next morning and asked the boss to give me a chance in the position. I explained I was already doing most of the work and felt confident I could handle the responsibilities of managing the office and 15-person sales team. I watched him consider the proposal, looking me up and down, but he agreed to give me a two-week trial. &nbsp; &nbsp; <figure id="figure-8axr60fhgomfdqpoyi"><img id="8axr60fhgomfdqpoyi" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/eArJewAlKA2kmXiPYgZDuLsIZpPSUGcTWqWw8re3mmh9vllNTTdExwiV2YUL3U6Y.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined% 0%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined%" data-positiony="0%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/eArJewAlKA2kmXiPYgZDuLsIZpPSUGcTWqWw8re3mmh9vllNTTdExwiV2YUL3U6Y.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined% 0%;"></figure><h3> More courage than fear &nbsp; </h3> The boss had two businesses, and when he passed away, his 18-year-old son inherited both companies. For many years, the son left me to run the manufacturing company, but when he bankrupted the other organisation, he came into our peaceful environment and turned it into chaos. I didn’t know it at the time, but he was a narcissist and I was victimised by him for decades.&nbsp; &nbsp; One morning before leaving for work, I had an anxiety attack and was rushed to the doctor who listened to my story and put me on 3 months disability. When the time came to decide if I was going back to work, I had the courage to walk away from the thing that had become part of me, the thing I loved.&nbsp; &nbsp; I was on that job for 38 years, and during those years, I created a happy, safe workplace and an outstanding reputation in our industry. I’m grateful for that 22-year-old young woman who had the courage to believe in herself despite her inexperience and fear.&nbsp; &nbsp; The company was sold the following year, and I was contracted to help move our system into theirs. I discovered the company I nurtured for so long was bankrupt which hurt my heart but also validated that I made the right decision to leave. I still cry over my lost job, but I needed to have more courage than fear to save my mental health, and I don’t regret being brave in my choices. &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; I suppose one of my most courageous steps was moving from the United States to Scotland in the UK. I loved my country very much and my roots go back to Salem Colony in the early 1600’s, so leaving wasn’t an easy choice. But I’ve had an attraction to Scotland since I was a young girl, and despite lots of resistance from friends and family, I couldn’t handle the Jersey summers anymore, and Scotland was so magical when Sam brought me here in 2012. &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; <figure id="figure-uwfio5i0xcmfdqvmqr"><img id="uwfio5i0xcmfdqvmqr" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/12xhlkNgin7TI5UFoP0n3OUNhtxASS0tWVaBigomArC4RTvKyV4peop2efRHRyPe.jpg" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 90%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="90%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/12xhlkNgin7TI5UFoP0n3OUNhtxASS0tWVaBigomArC4RTvKyV4peop2efRHRyPe.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 90%;"></figure> Moving to a country where I didn’t know the language wouldn’t have worked for me, so it gave me a lot of confidence to know I’d be able to communicate with the locals. I also did my research because I know that empowering myself with knowledge about a situation helps to guide and reinforce any decisions I’m facing. &nbsp;&nbsp;<h3>&nbsp; Rich with belief &nbsp;</h3> Who would I be without courage? Where would I be? What if I didn’t believe in myself? What if I let fear stop me from fighting for the things I wanted and needed? &nbsp; &nbsp; None of that really matters. I’m a grown Crone and I have an abundance of “been there, done that’s” in my back pocket, there’s one “give a fuck” tucked under my left tit, and I have handbag of medical cannabis that takes my old age pains away. So, what’s one more act of courage in my bag of tricks? &nbsp; &nbsp; Writing this story about being brave is the starting point of this scary new venture. My dream is for The Crone Network to become an important source of knowledge and power for Crones by providing a platform for real conversations and connections, useful information, and varied points of view on just about any topic. All I need now are some volunteers to help this dream come true.&nbsp; &nbsp; The bottom line is this…&nbsp; &nbsp; Could I fail? &nbsp;Yes, It’s entirely possible. &nbsp;&nbsp; Would it hurt? &nbsp;Ouchie, you bet it will hurt. &nbsp;&nbsp; Am I afraid? &nbsp;I’m scared shitless, but I’m doing to do it anyway. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Welcome to The Crone Network&nbsp; &nbsp;<figure id="figure-st3uw2035jmfdqs6jv" class=""><img id="st3uw2035jmfdqs6jv" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2462G4Bn973sGrvQYZBQakQ7C0HwEUMmdMk0QNXX02SsSktdcNe8OtKnDmbe0QZf.jpg" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined% 60%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined%" data-positiony="60%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2462G4Bn973sGrvQYZBQakQ7C0HwEUMmdMk0QNXX02SsSktdcNe8OtKnDmbe0QZf.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined% 60%;"></figure><blockquote><h3>A bird isn't afraid that it's perch will break, because it has faith in it's own wings.</h3></blockquote> Copyright © 2025 The Crone Network &nbsp; All rights reserved.

Storytelling

Struggle and surrender

Cutting Out The Chaff

Feel Good Gatherings

I’m old, not dead.

Loving my body whether I like it or not...

Being scared shitless but doing it anyway...