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For years I’ve been hearing older women talk about feeling invisible in society today. At first, I excused this feeling as something that applied to other older women, but the more I investigated the phenomena the more I discovered how wrong I was to think in such narrow terms.&nbsp;A 2023 UK research survey of 158 women over the age of 50, found that they recognised different types of feeling socially invisible. “Their perceived invisibility took five forms: (a) being under-seen/mis-seen in the media; (b) being mis-seen as objects of sexual undesirability; (c) being “ignored” in consumer, social, and public spaces; (d) being “grandmotherized,” that is, seen only through the lens of (often incorrectly) presumed grandmotherhood; (e) being patronized and erroneously assumed to be incompetent.”1Let’s break this survey down so we have a better understanding of how some women feel about invisibility.&nbsp;<figure id="figure-2tzq6se0hmhpd2pao"><img id="2tzq6se0hmhpd2pao" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/8gXEOIgknibR4Sk2LghbLDZIQhJXG64kfNv3gQEuZJRxG5CNNvHTJQqbY0ggSN8J.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="&nbsp; Feeling unseen in the media" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/8gXEOIgknibR4Sk2LghbLDZIQhJXG64kfNv3gQEuZJRxG5CNNvHTJQqbY0ggSN8J.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"><figcaption class="body-normal text-gray-500 mt-2">&nbsp; Feeling unseen in the media</figcaption></figure><h3>Where the hell are we?</h3><ul><li>Survey point A &nbsp; &nbsp; </li></ul>In my work, I need photos of older women for The Crone Network, but it’s hard to find real women and not perfectly styled senior models. Not only that, but most of the available images are of white women and our goal is to feature all women in their glorious sizes, shapes, and colours.In TV and film, there are loads of older men cast in major roles, but where are the older women? &nbsp;And how many runway models are women over the age of 50? &nbsp;Not having media representation contributes to the underfunding of projects that benefit older women. If our “market” isn’t seen, we’re not getting the attention we need and deserve.<figure id="figure-0tgkrxdfzhmhpd4ps0" class=""><img id="0tgkrxdfzhmhpd4ps0" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/6HXepri3vxROzBbniuK9V08piDyKoas1DiobSxOFaUC1xNjGGcn1uUnDRwhLv5YD.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/6HXepri3vxROzBbniuK9V08piDyKoas1DiobSxOFaUC1xNjGGcn1uUnDRwhLv5YD.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>Feeling sexually undesirable</h3><ul><li>Survey point B</li></ul>After menopause, lots of women lose their interest in sex. The thought of having sex is more of a turn-off than a turn-on, and we often feel less attractive because our bodies have changed. &nbsp;I used to have full, perky breasts, but now I’ve just got the bags they came in, and I’m ok with that. Everything wilts sooner or later.Some older women report hearing negative remarks when out with friends. Comments like, “Who’d want to shag that old slapper?”, or “She’s desperate so I’ll give her a quickie” can be incredibly hurtful to a woman and lead to crippling social isolation.<figure id="figure-web6g6vtdmhpd629r"><img id="web6g6vtdmhpd629r" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/17hHMXm0N2B2s0xcA3jApJsuOsgDeIsO7fHazS9YAN0HOe89cjdohReTZ8mQMMQY.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/17hHMXm0N2B2s0xcA3jApJsuOsgDeIsO7fHazS9YAN0HOe89cjdohReTZ8mQMMQY.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>Being socially ignored</h3>Survey point CInvisible Women Syndrome is not a recognised condition, but it is described as a phenomenon by which older women are often dismissed and devalued. With society’s emphasis on youth and beauty, older women can be overlooked, like not getting served at a busy pub. It feels like, if we’re no longer fertile or beautiful, we’re just discarded like an old sweater that sits in the back of the closet - you love it, but it’s too beat up to wear anymore. &nbsp;&nbsp;Telling a woman that she “looks good for her age” implies that there’s something wrong with being her age. One woman reported waiting for a train and being shoved aside by a young person who said, “You people shouldn’t be here this time of morning, people need to get to work.” They want to push us out of the way and ignore us.&nbsp;<figure id="figure-hiatqnyog8mhpd6v5z"><img id="hiatqnyog8mhpd6v5z" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/16um21nxcrzCAsDf69En3S8LNOWjf2BQw4Os9hW8MYvsRMlaJKefGIfq1ttqIIwl.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 0%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="0%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/16um21nxcrzCAsDf69En3S8LNOWjf2BQw4Os9hW8MYvsRMlaJKefGIfq1ttqIIwl.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 0%;"></figure><h3>We’re all just grandmothers</h3><ul><li>Survey point D</li></ul>Older women are often stereotyped as grannies who are eager to watch the kids. There is often an expectation that we’ll be there for our family, whether in a care giving role or as a babysitter. And if you say no thanks, you’re cast as a mean old hag or told that you’re being selfish in your old age.People ask questions like, “how many grandchildren do you have?” which implies that our only purpose in life was to procreate. We are told we shouldn’t wear skirts above the knee or low-cut blouses. We’re supposed to knit and bake and be happy with that.<figure id="figure-2vbvkpcg7fmhpd7smf"><img id="2vbvkpcg7fmhpd7smf" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/6tAmjW2LP0xBZxLWnaayjbLMV57OLdDsqM80dyrWcorIZIkuss2ItU4vjcKLI1DB.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/6tAmjW2LP0xBZxLWnaayjbLMV57OLdDsqM80dyrWcorIZIkuss2ItU4vjcKLI1DB.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>Being considered feeble minded</h3><ul><li>Survey point E</li></ul>Some folks mistake older women as being weak and unable. They can treat us like we’re frail creatures who can’t do for ourselves. Plus, we deal with patronising terms like “Young lady” and questions like, “Can you use a computer, dear?”For me, being offended is a choice so let them say what they want, I’ll shrug off any attempt to patronise me. But we older gals don’t like being spoken to as if we were toddlers, and when the spirit moves us, we’ll snap back with a witty, harsh response and a big sarcastic smile. <h3>It’s a good and bad thing</h3>But feeling invisible isn’t just about how society treats older women because some of us have learned that not being seen is a good thing. When our surroundings are confusing or unsettled, it’s safer to stay in the background and not use our voices when we perceive conflict or danger.A revealing article by Dolores Mosquera for the European Society for Trauma &amp; Dissociation called “The Effects of Feeling Invisible”3 (March 2018), the author points out that invisibility can be protection for some but can have shattering results for others. &nbsp;The article suggests 4 different ways that we can feel invisible.<ul><li>When - you are not seen, “nothingness”</li></ul>It can feel like no one notices or cares about you. Many times, this can be traced back to childhood when caregivers were too busy or were unable to nurture a child in the way it needs. This type of invisibility can lead to being taken advantage of by the likes of romance scammers and manipulators.<ul><li>When - what is done to you is not seen by others</li></ul>In the article, this type of invisibility is referred to as “partial blindness”. This usually occurs when a child is taken care of in one way, but things that may be happening to them are ignored by others. A prime example of this is child sexual abuse at home - one parent is the abuser, and the other doesn’t know or refuses to see.<ul><li>When – you try not to be seen because it’s dangerous</li></ul>Sometimes we feel it’s better to hide than be visible. Again, this can start during childhood but if we sense that something bad could happen, we might stay in the background and not speak out despite our desire to say what’s on our mind. Being unseen can keep you safe.<ul><li>When – you try not to be seen because everyone is overwhelmed</li></ul>If we sense those around us are overwhelmed with responsibility or worry, we tend to hold ourselves back so we’re not adding to their burden. This can lead to a sense of “not getting in the way” which can undermine our own wellbeing. We learn not to ask for what we want or need.<figure id="figure-dbehcl7m5fmhpd9yy9"><img id="dbehcl7m5fmhpd9yy9" src="https://cdn.durable.co/covers/31KgJHvLQbG3Ssk7hRXTCEHT5Jq61KMtHuGmU2DqdnwAbfXWw4YPJxppgR2obAL3.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/covers/31KgJHvLQbG3Ssk7hRXTCEHT5Jq61KMtHuGmU2DqdnwAbfXWw4YPJxppgR2obAL3.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>Stepping out from the shadows</h3>It’s clear how feeling unseen can affect our overall wellbeing, so what can we do about it? &nbsp;Here are some ideas on how to improve our visibility and start being seen again. They might not work for everybody, but finding an outlet to plug into usually reaps some great benefits.<ul><li>Be courageous</li></ul>Tomorrow literally never comes, so think about how you can boost your bravery today and kick fear’s ass. &nbsp;If you want to do or say something, ask yourself why you’re holding back and then give yourself a pep talk. Could it really be as bad as you imagine?&nbsp;<ul><li>Accept that you’re not everybody’s cup of tea</li></ul>We’re all different and not everybody is going to like you. That’s perfectly ok because there’s probably people you don’t like. As long as we’re nice to each other, not getting along is acceptable with a small smile and just a wee bit of tolerance. If you’re a “too much” woman like me, be yourself and let them adjust. Their opinion is not your problem.<ul><li>Stop apologising for being yourself</li></ul>Women apologise for their weight, for how they’re dressed, if their hair is messed up. We say sorry for crying, for overcooking dinner, for being in a bad mood. Just stop. If you owe someone apology for a misstep, then you should say you’re sorry, but you don’t need to apologise for just being yourself.<ul><li>Get involved</li></ul>The best way to be seen is to put yourself out there. This could be volunteering for a local charity, joining an online club, making time to visit senior care facilities to say “Hi, how are you today?” &nbsp;Comment on those social media posts, offer your opinion on a topic that matters to you. Show up for yourself.There are women like me who are loud and feisty, and there are women who are quiet and fierce like my sister. She is an introverted person, and I admire how she stands in the shadows and observes. She doesn’t say much, unless there’s juicy gossip. Her voice is in her church and in her community work. That’s how she makes herself visible. My voice comes out of my fingertips on a small iMac keyboard.&nbsp;There is no right or wrong way to be seen. The shy Crone who writes a powerful letter to the media is just as powerful as one with a megaphone and a flower in her hair.We have enormous, untapped value and our voices matter. &nbsp;So let’s pound on the desk and make some friggin’ noise!!!We are here!We will be seen!We need representation!And we are not going away! ﻿1 Westwood, S. (2023). “It’s the not being seen that is most tiresome”: Older women, invisibility and social (in)justice. Journal of Women &amp; Aging, 35(6), 557–572. https://doi.org/10.1080/08952841.2023.21976582 https://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/houseofwellness/do-you-have-invisible-woman-syndrome/news-story/71bdc0c7199a54f24a9ddafb6de1d8b83 https://intra-tp.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/The-effects-of-being-invisible.pdf Copyright ©️ 2025 The Crone Network &nbsp;All rights reserved.&nbsp;

Unseen

When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? My ambitions changed as I got older and experience so many different influences. I was probably about 7 or 8 when I wanted to be a majorette, you know, the girl in the marching band twirling &nbsp; a baton. My mom even sent me to baton lessons, encouraging me to dream.Dad once said I should be a lawyer because I like to argue, but it was just a combination of curiosity and a rebellious nature that made me question everything. I never wanted to be an astronaut, but I did think about acting or teaching, both of which would have suited me well. There was one night while I was eating dinner with my family, that I announced my intent to become a social worker with a specialty in adolescent kids, but my dad snapped, “There ain’t no goddamn money in that.” I can still feel my heart sinking as his words deflated my spirit. My real passion, however, was music and that’s why I applied to the US Air Force when I was 17, hoping to become a member of the USAF band.<figure id="figure-08cpsced58mhw1zdl5"><img id="08cpsced58mhw1zdl5" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/23OTSrgrHEJwodfNtvWKRT2qntxgEtXVWRH06CSAJkA4COv4q620yrsRAFdq5xLK.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="Photo of my 5th grade report card. I was 10-11 years old" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/23OTSrgrHEJwodfNtvWKRT2qntxgEtXVWRH06CSAJkA4COv4q620yrsRAFdq5xLK.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"><figcaption class="body-normal text-gray-500 mt-2">Photo of my 5th grade report card. I was 10-11 years old</figcaption></figure><h3>What we want vs what we get</h3>Of course, what we want and what we get are often very different things. I quit high school and decided to join the US Air Force, but the recruiter told me to lose 20 lbs which I never did. Then I went and did something stupid and lied to my parents who then kicked me out of the house. &nbsp;I went to live with a friend who took me down a long and dangerous road. Looking back though, I was just another troubled teen from a troubled family who got into trouble, and before long, I was married and raising a family. I never made it into the Air Force and never went to college.After leaving my job of nearly 40 years, I was given 6 months unemployment compensation and a free 9-month set of courses at our local community college. I was 60 years old and grateful for this long-awaited chance at higher education and decided that graphic design would be something I’d enjoy. If I was any good at design, I fancied I could work freelance in my old age to help subsidise my income. I sucked at web coding, did well with desktop publishing, and excelled in journalism which was an optional free course. And I made the Dean’s List; a prestigious listing of the top 10% of students! Some of my family suggested I should skip the graduation ceremony because “it’s mostly kids, won’t you be embarrassed? &nbsp;Hell no I’m not going to be embarrassed! &nbsp;I earned that right and I’m taking it. And though college was challenging, it was just what I needed to get myself out of a deep depression. I found structure and purpose again.<figure id="figure-vzqjnvsii8mhw21gdm"><img id="vzqjnvsii8mhw21gdm" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/293t91wF2ACyFuuCX1SxlLkmfkYJOSAtAae6imQPbCxnNPhtT2GRxwxygdaLvwm8.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/293t91wF2ACyFuuCX1SxlLkmfkYJOSAtAae6imQPbCxnNPhtT2GRxwxygdaLvwm8.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Sometimes I wonder what could have been, how my life would be different if my childhood ambitions had come true. Would I be a public defender or a prosecutor? What’s the “age out” for majorettes these days? I would have been a great teacher, and I never lost my musical ability. &nbsp;Without an instrument to play, my music is a Friday night with a couple of gin and tonics in The Cosy. I put on my Bose headphones and pound on my desk with the drums or play the air bass guitar. I can belt out the blues just as well Koko Taylor!As I roam the internet looking for interesting conversation, I hear women my age talk about feeling invisible and not having a purpose or direction in their lives. I’ve been there and it sucks. But one of the things that helped me was going to college. The Crone NetworkÒ wants to provide you the opportunity to go to college for free, online and on your own terms. You don’t need to apply for a degree, but hopefully by offering these links to free education, you’ll be inspired by my story and want something new for yourself. &nbsp;Most of these courses are free so you can browse for subjects that interest you and learn as much as you want.<figure id="figure-6q07du0v8kmhw220ll"><img id="6q07du0v8kmhw220ll" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/284JkkR084QR2BJSgouIltHdCgNpvAzY7fUFtsN1vuSveBAA51EtRBUvcjkJTvSH.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="Photo credit to rdne for Pexels" data-positionx="null" data-positiony="null" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/284JkkR084QR2BJSgouIltHdCgNpvAzY7fUFtsN1vuSveBAA51EtRBUvcjkJTvSH.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"><figcaption class="body-normal text-gray-500 mt-2">Photo credit to rdne for Pexels</figcaption></figure>The list below contains links that take you directly to free online college courses. There are plenty of subjects to choose from, and whether you’re looking to learn and earn, or you’re just curious about a particular topic, knowledge is an invaluable life tool and something that can never be taken from you. Most of these are completely free but check each course for all the details.If you decide to jump into an online college, please let us know what you’re going to study so we can support and learn from you. We’re all in this together.The Crone Network hopes you find this information useful.<figure id="figure-fn0s4pfmmmhw26hyr"><img id="fn0s4pfmmmhw26hyr" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/38o9EShvucuPXKlApHKhS6zyqFWx1meLNbdkVEx602rzeUFa3826hXyZRxhsZoYP.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="Feeling proud on graduation day" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/38o9EShvucuPXKlApHKhS6zyqFWx1meLNbdkVEx602rzeUFa3826hXyZRxhsZoYP.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"><figcaption class="body-normal text-gray-500 mt-2">Feeling proud on graduation day</figcaption></figure> <h2>Free college courses </h2>Stanford University <a href="https://online.stanford.edu/free-courses" data-mce-href="https://online.stanford.edu/free-courses">https://online.stanford.edu/free-courses</a> Harvard University <a href="https://pll.harvard.edu/catalog/free?price%5B%5D=free&amp;page=2" data-mce-href="https://pll.harvard.edu/catalog/free?price%5B%5D=free&amp;page=2">https://pll.harvard.edu/catalog/free?price%5B%5D=free&amp;page=2</a> MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) <a href="https://pll.harvard.edu/catalog/free?price%5B%5D=free&amp;page=2" data-mce-href="https://pll.harvard.edu/catalog/free?price%5B%5D=free&amp;page=2">https://pll.harvard.edu/catalog/free?price%5B%5D=free&amp;page=2</a> University of Glasgow <a href="https://www.gla.ac.uk/study/free-online-courses/" data-mce-href="https://www.gla.ac.uk/study/free-online-courses/">https://www.gla.ac.uk/study/free-online-courses/</a> Coursera <a href="https://www.coursera.org/courses?query=freewww.thecronenetwork.org" data-mce-href="https://www.coursera.org/courses?query=freewww.thecronenetwork.org">https://www.coursera.org/courses?query=freewww.thecronenetwork.org </a> THE CRONE NETWORK Email: <a data-mce-href="mailto:contact@thecronenetwork.org" href="mailto:contact@thecronenetwork.org" target="_blank" rel="noopener">contact@thecronenetwork.org</a>

Never too old to learn

Full length of active African plus size woman in sportswear doing stretching exercises in fitness studio

Some years ago, my son was getting married. It was a small, casual summer ceremony at a historic lakeside tavern where his soon-to-be wife worked. There was nothing in my closet that suited the “mother of the groom,” so I went to the only plus-size store in town and found a lovely black, three-quarter sleeve pullover sprinkled with tiny sequins. It was comfortable, appropriate, and made me feel pretty good about myself.The ceremony was outdoors, under the blazing August sun. My beautiful top was sticking to my sweating body, and I was miserable, happy that my son found a life mate, but miserable because I was so uncomfortable. Later, as the cocktails flowed and the music started, we moved into the tavern for dancing. I joined the crowd on the old oak floors, moving to the rhythm with absolute joy.<h3>Moving like that</h3> One of my son’s young friends came over to dance beside me. After a few minutes she leaned in and said, “Oh my goodness, you’re such a great dancer! I didn’t know big people could move like that!”<figure id="figure-b1iil4ynpqmhpckv4u"><img id="b1iil4ynpqmhpckv4u" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/128Qp8TtogCDO6sPyzZipOY1O1p5J92CKz8Z3qtd08gisfrLuSFSWvHHbJEcH1r4.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 25%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="Bad photos are very difficult to fix but this was on my son’s wedding day.&nbsp;" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="25%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/128Qp8TtogCDO6sPyzZipOY1O1p5J92CKz8Z3qtd08gisfrLuSFSWvHHbJEcH1r4.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 25%;"><figcaption class="body-normal text-gray-500 mt-2">Bad photos are very difficult to fix but this was on my son’s wedding day.&nbsp;</figcaption></figure>You might think I was offended, but I wasn’t. I’ve always been a good dancer, and she had probably never seen a big woman move so freely. In that moment, I realized I’d become a living example of something she hadn’t known was possible: that body size doesn’t have to keep us from being fully, unashamedly ourselves.Having an obese body isn’t great for your physical health, but neither is hating yourself for having one. What’s the big deal if my arms flap in the wind or if I haven’t seen my pubic hair in years? Being comfortable in the body I have today is good for my mental and spiritual health. Getting fitter takes time but changing how I think about myself can start right now.But I know that being healthy isn’t just about joining Weight Watchers or hitting the gym. To me, real health has three equal parts: physical, mental/emotional, and spiritual, and I wondered if science and medicine see it that way too. &nbsp;<figure id="figure-jswyin36ikmhpcovwm"><img id="jswyin36ikmhpcovwm" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/21G660SS39AOV8v9NzwHizCKkGROzDNnXyrGSY8W15rV9Z2VrT41AYYNg8VYh4y3.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 35% 55%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionx="35%" data-positiony="55%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/21G660SS39AOV8v9NzwHizCKkGROzDNnXyrGSY8W15rV9Z2VrT41AYYNg8VYh4y3.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 35% 55%;"></figure>When I looked into it, I discovered that even the World Health Organization agrees. It defines health as “a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being — not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” One article I found added that health systems “miss the mark if they reduce people to a list of numbers — blood pressure, cholesterol, or genetic variants.”We’re complicated beings. I know what I should do to take care of my body, and yet I still make excuses. Maybe that’s old trauma talking, maybe it’s habit. But as I stand here in my “Cronehood,” I ask myself — if I don’t love me now, when will I?<h3>Oh so complicated</h3> Science may not have all the answers, but it’s catching up to what I’ve learned through living: true wellness comes when we care for our entire being. For me, it starts with mental health — because when I feel good about who I am, I’m more likely to care for this big, beautiful, sweaty, dancing body. These days, I see my body as a partner, not a problem. Whether she’s shimmering in sequins or wrapped in soft cotton, she’s mine — and she deserves to be loved…. Today.

Dancing in My Own Skin

I started to learn gratitude when I was 17 and got kicked out of my family home for deceiving my parents. I went to live with a friend in a nearby small city. For over a year, I washed my jeans in a sink and had weeks of just eating instant mashed potatoes because my roommate and I had no jobs and no money. That’s when I started to understand how fortunate I was to come from a middle-class family. <h3>A guardian angel</h3>One thing led to another, and soon I was injecting Dilaudid with my roommate and her junkie friends. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into, but the woman I am today recognises the innocence of that young girl and is grateful for surviving that wild summer. There must have been a guardian angel watching over me because most of those people died alone from overdose. &nbsp;&nbsp;Hanging out with the wrong people, so naïve and inexperienced, I found myself arrested for a rather serious crime along with my boyfriend and another man. Again, fate smiled on me by providing me with a public defender who believed I was blameless and got me out of county jail. I had the clothes on my back and $2.00 the jailers gave me to get a bus to a home, a home I no longer had. Thankfully, my boyfriend's sister took me in until I got on my feet.<figure id="figure-hb8ftnjaormhpc5oet" class=""><img id="hb8ftnjaormhpc5oet" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/1euTewVDvCgVtKrU2RIq7Ha4WxV5OAeQGF5Lmgg0OCVX2mxjEgUAA8y4uUVHpzOD.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/1euTewVDvCgVtKrU2RIq7Ha4WxV5OAeQGF5Lmgg0OCVX2mxjEgUAA8y4uUVHpzOD.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure> <h3>Grateful for help</h3>Later in life, there were a few times that my ex wasn’t working and there wasn’t enough food in the house. The kids got school breakfast and lunch, but there were a couple times I had to make a phone call to their grandparents asking, “Can the kids have dinner with you tonight?” I know there are lots of people who don’t have school or family to help when things are bad. I’m grateful for having help.About 10 years ago I lost a lot of weight by eating better and taking walks around the hood. In the beginning, walking hurt so bad I’d be in tears from the pain of holding myself upright and moving my large body. One of the tools I used to get me through the pain was appreciation for having legs that worked properly. When I wanted to quit walking, I would think of soldiers coming home without limbs, and the excruciating pain they must endure to find their new normal. Gratitude helped me to stop feeling sorry for myself and walk on despite the pain. It helped me lose over 70 pounds.When I witness others struggling, gratitude makes my heart ache and I ask myself, “Why am I so blessed?” &nbsp;There have been times when I stood behind a woman at the grocery store and overheard her say, “I need to put this, this, and this back please”, as she fumbles with the money in her hands. &nbsp;If I have the extra cash, I’m helping her out. &nbsp;There are people who work 3x harder than I did and still live in poverty. That doesn’t seem fair so I’m coughing up the cash out of gratitude.<figure id="figure-74jqmpxlwgmhpc8rqu"><img id="74jqmpxlwgmhpc8rqu" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/356owU5h9WpkyfkGuekTa3RDbHsNnYtdOkZJgOSvewqRulpyrDOfTTLRdAZd2AKP.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="photo credit to By Any Other Nerd" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/356owU5h9WpkyfkGuekTa3RDbHsNnYtdOkZJgOSvewqRulpyrDOfTTLRdAZd2AKP.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"><figcaption class="body-normal text-gray-500 mt-2">photo credit to By Any Other Nerd</figcaption></figure>Gratitude comes in all shapes and sizes. Let’s think about charity, like giving a woman a few dollars to buy groceries. There’s a quote by Black Elk, the Oglala Sioux holy man who observed how charitable the white man could be. &nbsp;<img id="061rasa8rmhpcb1ol" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/26wtQITpHXLjdRPjYHMojKFR0OHk78yuv8vFRbtzQAcLDakUt0ruCgWVogevnfbv.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/26wtQITpHXLjdRPjYHMojKFR0OHk78yuv8vFRbtzQAcLDakUt0ruCgWVogevnfbv.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" style="border-color: rgba(229,231,235,var(--tw-border-opacity)); border-image-source: none; width: 640px; margin: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; aspect-ratio: 16 / 9; object-position: center center;"> <h3>Is charity a self act?</h3>There is something magical about charity. It usually comes from a place of gratitude and recognition that someone is in a worse position than yourself. &nbsp;In fact, some might argue that giving to others is a selfish act because it feels so good. Plus, those acts of kindness send ripples of positive juju into the universe and we could certainly use more of that. &nbsp; It’s hard to imagine not being grateful, but it happens all the time. Gratitude slips through my fingers when I’m upset with my husband, or when the car needs repairs. I forget about my privilege and sometimes forget to be thankful at night when I go to bed. There are days I wake up grumpy and filled with self-pity, but it’s always gratitude and the love of my Sammy that pulls me back from self-imposed misery.&nbsp;I know a woman who has a wonderful life. A modest but very cosy home. A car in the driveway. Food in the fridge. Healthy kids. But she consistently complains about what she doesn’t have, as if another trinket or new toy will make her happy. I wonder how someone can find happiness if they can’t even find satisfaction.<h3> </h3><h3>Thanks giving</h3>Years ago, we celebrated Thanksgiving at our house a few times, and I always asked our guests to give thanks before we ate, even if they did it quietly. One family member thought it was horrible that I asked people to express their gratitude, but the holiday is called Thanksgiving for a reason so if you dined at my table, if you enjoyed the juicy roast turkey and cornbread stuffing, please…. Express your appreciation in whatever form works for you.<figure id="figure-m9mpwrxiadmhpcc8pq"><img id="m9mpwrxiadmhpcc8pq" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/237RmOCvQBZV8bUm93FFQ8hUyJ1l75gTmX9St4uZWLu1OLoG4kXyVrjULAGGAN7u.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="Photo credit to Positive Psychology" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/237RmOCvQBZV8bUm93FFQ8hUyJ1l75gTmX9St4uZWLu1OLoG4kXyVrjULAGGAN7u.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"><figcaption class="body-normal text-gray-500 mt-2">Photo credit to Positive Psychology</figcaption></figure>Positive Psychology featured an article by Dr. Melissa Madeson, PhD called “The Neuroscience of Gratitude &amp; Its Effects on the Brain” (September 2025). Dr Madeson talks about how the brain processes gratitude and how it triggers “good hormones and regulates effective functioning of the immune system.” &nbsp;Scholars believe that gratitude also activates the “reward centre” of the brain which can help us view ourselves and the world around us in a more positive perspective. <h3>A reduction in cortisol levels</h3>The article goes on to describe how the practice of appreciation can help our overall wellbeing. “Gratitude can boost emotional resilience by focusing on positive things in life instead of toxic emotions like envy, jealousy, resentment, and anxiety.” &nbsp;When it comes to stress, studies “found that participants experienced a reduction in cortisol levels (the stress hormone) and had better cardiac function.” &nbsp;Stress kills our good moods, our happy thoughts, and sometimes, takes our lives.Being grateful has proven benefits that include reduced anxiety and depression, improved sleep and immunity, and overall feelings of contentment and positive outlooks. But how can we practice gratitude to help us achieve better mental, emotional, and physical health?Millions of people exercise their gratitude every day through prayer. Regardless of a person’s spiritual beliefs, there is usually a ritual of giving thanks to a higher power. Many believe the simple whisper of “Thank you”, when spoken with a grateful heart, can manipulate the universe with waves of goodness. I was taught to pray before bed, and though I’m a Pagan, there can only be positivity when offering my nightly appreciation. I start with mom’s “Now I lay me down to sleep…” and finish by acknowledging my ancestors and people close to me who have passed on. This ritual is part of my gratitude routine, and though I forget sometimes, I trust the universe knows my good intentions and gives me an occasional pass. <blockquote>The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.Dolly Parton</blockquote><figure id="figure-x6f5ecy56mhpce59i" class=""><img id="x6f5ecy56mhpce59i" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/47cH4r6miF3F88I3YBdGgoui6AzzQ3QiQWS578e6pU9HAzmBKBFlOqSWabeld971.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/47cH4r6miF3F88I3YBdGgoui6AzzQ3QiQWS578e6pU9HAzmBKBFlOqSWabeld971.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>I can find gratitude in raindrops, in a great meal, in having coins in my purse. There’s gratitude in the furnace that heats my home and in my very kind neighbours. I’m thankful for friends that hold my secrets, socks that warm my feet and arms that hug my husband close to me. All I need to do is look around and there’s something to be grateful for in every glance and every sound.I’m a big fan of shifting perspectives, of looking at things from different angles, but I don’t need a scientific study to show me that being thankful for the many blessings in my life is truly, the key to finding contentment, peace of mind, and happiness.&nbsp; <a data-mce-href="https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude" href="https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude">﻿&nbsp;https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude</a>

The key to my happiness

I’ve always been a “plain Jane” so I don’t know much about fashion beyond watching episodes of Project Runway and Making the Cut. &nbsp;I don’t know what I was thinking when I suggested the topic Fashion Over 50 during a recent writing class with members of Crone Awakening Wisdom. My personal fashion sense is, “It’s clean, it’s just a teeny stain and I’m not going anywhere”, &nbsp;so I needed to look into the subject from different points of view to grasp the concept of fashion over 50.There are hundreds of websites offering tips on how to dress your age, and there are lovely pictures of finely dressed ladies, all perfectly styled and photographed. &nbsp;“Start with the basics” is a standard bullet point for most of these sites; every woman should have black dress pants, a black dress, an evening top or dress, and a nice blazer or jacket. &nbsp;Gosh, my favourite “dress” pants/trousers are over 32 years old and I’ll be wearing them again for whatever appropriate occasion requires me to posh myself up.&nbsp;I used to wear hip huggers with a thick leather belt, but I haven’t worn pants with zippers in about 40 years. Tube tops used to be in fashion too, but now that my boobs are on my belly, I’m better off tucking them into my stretchy leggings and using them as thigh warmers. My hot orange mini skirt was very trendy, but it got me in trouble with the boys and my legs always turned purple during winter recess. Remember blue mascara and Candie’s, those awful wooden shoes we thought were so cool? &nbsp;They were the most uncomfortable shoes ever made, so why did I bother? Because I wanted to follow the trend and be “in fashion”?<figure id="figure-ynj632am0wmgp04v2x" class=""><img id="ynj632am0wmgp04v2x" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/1dHp96W492EReqTrh8sO1T8KCpnEtXZt1NEXaJQ5FEzTGzrFYHW142599YwPBk3n.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="null" data-positiony="null" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/1dHp96W492EReqTrh8sO1T8KCpnEtXZt1NEXaJQ5FEzTGzrFYHW142599YwPBk3n.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>This is the reason I wear baggy clothes</h3> Of course, as I aged, my tastes changed and so did my levels of comfort. What worked for me decades ago, doesn’t work for me anymore. This puckered old body doesn’t want a belt, it doesn’t even want a bra! And as much as I might dream about wearing a lacy ruffled top and a pencil skirt, they don’t work for my body and seem very confining to me. The picture of me swaddled tightly and sitting on an oversized red chair put me right off wearing tight clothes. Another side of fashion is shopping, and as much as I love to hunt and gather, we left most of our possessions in the states when we moved to Scotland, and emptying my life of “stuff” was liberating so I’m really thoughtful about what I buy these days. I try to avoid making purchases “just because I like it”. &nbsp;&nbsp;Finding a nice patterned top that’s comfortable, comes in my size, looks decent on me, and isn’t emblazoned with a heart or a city name, can be quite a challenge. &nbsp;And some of the patterns for women my size are just plain ugly and they make me wonder if the buyer had gas that day. A decent quality tunic can cost over £70 ($93)! &nbsp;But when I get lucky and find a top I love slipping over my head, I’ll wear the poor thing until I can read a newspaper through the fabric. I have actually cried over having to dispose of treasured tops. &nbsp;Pathetic? &nbsp;Maybe, but we like what we like.&nbsp; Most zippered pants were too baggy in the ball sack area because I’m short and fat, so leggings are my thing. They come in almost every colour and pattern, and you can get a decent pair on a budget. When I joined the gym I bought a few pairs of sports-type leggings. I call them “miracle pants” because they hold ALL this in so amazingly well. As comfortable as they are, when you’re built like me there’s always the risk of having an exposed “camel belly”. &nbsp;That’s what happened one day at my gym’s Pump class. &nbsp;Little did I know that the seam of my miracle leggings split my belly into two separate portions. I will never be able to unsee the very zoomed-in photo of me lying on that bench.&nbsp;<figure id="figure-bp23einqr1mgp0cy5c"><img id="bp23einqr1mgp0cy5c" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2bL3mxPPywHrTRch9n8w2Kzim8Nww0GYnNUINZUKwFsdWeXUAuks0k4PpHjvCble.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2bL3mxPPywHrTRch9n8w2Kzim8Nww0GYnNUINZUKwFsdWeXUAuks0k4PpHjvCble.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>The other thing I think about when buying new clothes, is where do the old clothes go to die? Donating a top I can read through isn’t fair to the charity shop. They wouldn’t be able to sell something so well worn, and it would be a waste of the time donated by volunteer workers. Throwing it in the bin like household trash doesn’t seem right either. That’s just more garbage for the Earth to swallow.Here’s an interesting fact. Did you know the fashion industry causes 10% of global industrial pollution? &nbsp;According to The Carbon Literacy Project, the “entire lifecycle of a garment, from manufacturing to transportation to, ultimately, ending up in landfill, in total, releases 1.2 billion tonnes of carbon emissions every year.” &nbsp;Reading stuff like this makes me proud that my fancy pants are 32 years old!<h3>Gaining respect by our appearance</h3>Another fashionable point of view is offered by a young woman who made a video about a friend she thought was pretty. She explains that her friend started wearing makeup and high heels and was suddenly treated with more respect. This young Crone-to-be points out that the patriarchy created and sustains the fashion industry, and that some women may present themselves a certain way to gain more respect from men. This perspective is worth a listen.<a data-mce-href="https://www.facebook.com/reel/1039267077638328" href="https://www.facebook.com/reel/1039267077638328">https://www.facebook.com/reel/1039267077638328</a>And then we Crones need to hear messages like this guy’s view on fashion over 50. "I think that after a certain age your skirt should really be at or below the knee, no matter how beautiful your legs are. It looks more appropriate, and it doesn’t look like you’re trying to look young.” &nbsp;The quote comes from a well-known fashion stylist, Paul Cavaco, who does not wear a skirt.<h3>I'm not a circumstance</h3>The word “appropriate” means “suitable and proper for the circumstances” according to the Oxford Dictionary. One could easily understand that a bright orange skimpy dress wouldn’t be appropriate for most funerals, but I'm not a circumstance and if I want to show my cellulite thighs at the dance club in my short orange dress, that's what I'm going to do. He's welcome to strap on a bra, slip into a grannie dress and some heels and have himself a good time.I also found “rules” for what women over 50 are supposed to wear. In an article by The Guardian called ‘We want to wear what we want, but don’t want to get it wrong’ – how to decode fashion in your 50s.” (March 2023). &nbsp;A company called Hope Fashion, which offers clothes for Crones, had to crowd-fund from their customers because the male dominated &nbsp;industry wouldn't invest in older women. From a business point of view, that’s just dumb because there are 87 million women over 50 living in the UK, the US, and Canada alone!&nbsp; &nbsp;The article goes on to say that many women “have a lot of clothes but feel as if they have nothing to wear – and then feel guilty about it. Their main problem, she says, is that shopping for clothes has become daunting and exhausting.” My view goes back to the industry being patriarchal and wanting us to have a certain look. Maybe we look in the mirror and can’t achieve the standards they've set for us and feel we have "nothing to wear".&nbsp;<h3>She dared to wear cargo pants</h3>While I’m the jeans, t-shirt, and Birkenstocks girl, my cousin Carole had a much higher standard of dress and appearance. Physically, we looked very much alike but we were polar opposites in how we carried ourselves. I always admired her sense of style, especially because she was a large woman. She dared to wear cargo pants/trousers and often wore dresses to work as a school teacher. Her nails and makeup were always on point, while I stopped wearing makeup in the 1980s. Fashion was important to my sweet cousin and it’s one of the things that makes me smile when I think of her.<figure id="figure-210028rvzgmgp0oqcn"><img id="210028rvzgmgp0oqcn" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/37eDJFQTm7iumObqhp4MEDI41dvDAgeuCsdAKxTyRYcpYjQiEnHXPl5vRovF8yBz.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="null" data-positiony="null" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/37eDJFQTm7iumObqhp4MEDI41dvDAgeuCsdAKxTyRYcpYjQiEnHXPl5vRovF8yBz.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>I appreciate art and design in all its glorious forms, and really dig seeing a smartly dressed woman, no matter her size, age, or personal style. Show me sassy, show me your innocence, flaunt your curves, let's see that cleavage, cinch in that belt. And if you just want to look “put together” in a casual way, that’s exactly what you should do. Either way, I will applaud you and tell you how beautiful you are for just being a Crone.&nbsp;But I got news for the testosterone driven fashion industry, baggy and slightly unkept is also a fashion statement and it’s the one I’ve been embracing for decades. Comfort is queen for this feisty old Crone.&nbsp;<a data-mce-href="https://www.townandcountrymag.com/style/fashion-trends/g22876839/fashion-for-women-over-50/" href="https://www.townandcountrymag.com/style/fashion-trends/g22876839/fashion-for-women-over-50/">https://www.townandcountrymag.com/style/fashion-trends/g22876839/fashion-for-women-over-50/</a><a data-mce-href="https://carbonliteracy.com/fast-fashions-carbon-footprint/" href="https://carbonliteracy.com/fast-fashions-carbon-footprint/">https://carbonliteracy.com/fast-fashions-carbon-footprint/</a><a data-mce-href="https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2023/mar/24/how-to-decode-fashion-in-your-50s-women" href="https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2023/mar/24/how-to-decode-fashion-in-your-50s-women">https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2023/mar/24/how-to-decode-fashion-in-your-50s-women</a>

Fashion over 50- Do I have to?

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<h3>What is AI? &nbsp;(Artificial Intelligence)</h3>The term “artificial intelligence” (AI) refers to computer systems that are so advanced they can learn by recognising and processing patterns of information. It’s so good it can interact with humans using a natural, conversational language. It absorbs the information we feed into it, such as Facebook posts and what we buy at the grocery store, and uses that information to educate itself. It’s even begun to think for itself.You’ve probably been using AI without even knowing it. Do you use Alexa or anything voice or face activated? &nbsp;When you type onto your keyboard and it predicts what you’re going to say, that’s AI in action. Spotify uses AI to suggest a playlist just for you. &nbsp;There are good and bad things about AI, but one thing’s for sure, it’s not going away. So maybe we need to think about adapting to this new technology so we’re not left behind. <figure id="figure-7f0qmn72hmh7vo4ow"><img id="7f0qmn72hmh7vo4ow" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/31z6DF3koWtxO3382gWTgwgvz7AXPXRi1rDIanyjOhF5CNEN3z9HasQHBGg5Rd5F.jpg" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="Photo credit to Kunstliche for Pexels" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/31z6DF3koWtxO3382gWTgwgvz7AXPXRi1rDIanyjOhF5CNEN3z9HasQHBGg5Rd5F.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"><figcaption class="body-normal text-gray-500 mt-2">Photo credit to Kunstliche for Pexels</figcaption></figure> <h3>The bad stuff</h3>Let’s start with the scary part of AI. &nbsp;Have you heard the word “deepfake” over the last few years? Well, “deepfake” is audio or video intentionally created by artificial intelligence to deceive someone. This is easily done with a snippet of someone’s voice or just a single photo, and the result can be shockingly realistic. Anybody with the right tools can make a deepfake recording of another person that’s so real, viewers will believe what they see and hear. Right now, there are hundreds of fake photos and videos on everything from political views to panty liners and celebrities. Talk about a doppelganger?!Here's an example of a deepfake photo. Notice the very smooth skin on the face and the wonky looking hands.&nbsp;&nbsp;<figure id="figure-tc8z6r6naomh7vtbgb"><img id="tc8z6r6naomh7vtbgb" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/3njXa7vZDyClxK1CeFzGGzaU2xpJfhJ3L0vKTI4bTng4ZHExvq8lE6Aj4eVLr9qx.jpg" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="Photo credit to public domain" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/3njXa7vZDyClxK1CeFzGGzaU2xpJfhJ3L0vKTI4bTng4ZHExvq8lE6Aj4eVLr9qx.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"><figcaption class="body-normal text-gray-500 mt-2">Photo credit to public domain</figcaption></figure> In an issue of USA Today-Tech&nbsp;(2025), Emmy award winner tech columnist Jennifer Jolly provides this short, very informative video on how to spot deepfake audio and video. It’s worth watching. <figure id="figure-gfa9gaqeumh7w5vfl" class=""><iframe id="gfa9gaqeumh7w5vfl" class="w-full bg-gray-100 h-80 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="&lt;iframe title=" width="540" height="350" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" src="https://uw-media.usatoday.com/embed/video/83534558007?placement=snow-embed" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://uw-media.usatoday.com/embed/video/83534558007?placement=snow-embed" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure> Something else to keep in mind is that older people are the biggest target group for AI scams aimed at getting our money and information. Someone gets a “Granny, it’s me” phone call saying they’re stuck and need cash. AI can mimic voices, so was it really your grandchild? We also have a literacy gap with AI technology. We don’t want AI to be smarter than we are, so it’s best to educate ourselves.<h3> </h3><h3>Now for some good news</h3>Although phoney media can make AI a terrifying spectre, there are some great benefits that we shouldn’t ignore. I have been avoiding AI like the plague, but encouraged by a woman in the field, I started with ChatGPT to help me draft some legal documents. It was the first time I intentionally used AI to help me with something, and it was an amazing experience. AI felt a bit like a servant which was very weird, but the information it provided was astonishing. AI makes mistakes, so with something as important as legal documents, I checked the facts against what it generated. It was remarkably accurate.If you want to try AI, just type ChatGPT into your web browser and when you get to it, just ask something specific. For example, you could ask “In the year 1325, at what age were females in Scotland married, and what happened if they didn’t have a dowry? Please create a 2-paragraph summary of your answer.” Be specific with your question. Try typing, “Please create a printable how-to for fixing my toilet.” It will probably ask you what the problem is so it can provide you with accurate instructions.Another benefit of AI is challenging mind games that help to keep our brains engaged. And there’s more! In a great article published by 50 Plus&nbsp;(July2025) “There are AI tools that can help you budget, track subscriptions, or organise your digital files — including the ones you forgot were sitting in a folder marked ‘Important!’ from 2017. Tools like Notion AI and Reclaim can become a digital second brain, keeping everything in one place and prompting you when things need doing.” &nbsp;They also have a summary of areas in our life that can benefit we older gals.There have been big advances in medical diagnostics using AI platforms. Although this is new technology, one study shows significant increases in cancer findings. In the article Five AI Innovations That Will Redefine Healthcare in 2025 (Forbes, February 2025), they state “With AI support, radiologists increased breast cancer detection by 17.6% and lowered recall rates. Additionally, the AI group had a higher positive predictive value for recalls than the control group.” This is great news for women! <figure id="figure-cjwl745xk7mh7wc4it"><img id="cjwl745xk7mh7wc4it" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/31LrtXMNOeFaiPEmulUI3mlNSCVfaAdDHfz4x90PLxYtsX4QEiQ39wdT3tLw9NiM.jpg" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="Photo credit to public domain " data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/31LrtXMNOeFaiPEmulUI3mlNSCVfaAdDHfz4x90PLxYtsX4QEiQ39wdT3tLw9NiM.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"><figcaption class="body-normal text-gray-500 mt-2">Photo credit to public domain</figcaption></figure> Many believe the future will be filled with breakthroughs thanks to advancements in AI technology. Some believe it will completely transform patient healthcare with improved diagnostic accuracy, better patient monitoring, and more efficient workflows which will ease the backlogs for patients seeking treatment.&nbsp;Another big advancement in AI is the invention of “emotional companions”. &nbsp;These devices can hold conversations with you, reminds you of birthdays and to take your meds. I watched one example of a woman telling her companion that she was feeling down, and the machine spoke back in a soft, calming voice, helped her to regulate her breath and asked if she’d like to hear some music. Another video showed a woman asking her companion “I have shrimp and mushrooms in the fridge, what can I make for dinner?” Memory care patients have shown promising results by engaging with AI tools that help them feel less isolated and alone.There are several AI home devices that you may already be using. Amazon’s Echo series offers a range of “assistants” with products that are simple or more sophisticated. &nbsp;Prices are surprisingly affordable with the top-of-the-line costing about £250 for the devices with screens for video chatting. The service is free, but you must have an Amazon Prime account. We pay £8.99/month.<figure id="figure-rdp2drd8mnmh7wer1p"><img id="rdp2drd8mnmh7wer1p" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/35gpIPNVp2uLLSBvGK7E6DQp1rYxA6Mz32CagCihJSjUEkrSaDoRVPsXbN24OZnl.jpg" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="Photo credit to Kindel Media for Pexels" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/35gpIPNVp2uLLSBvGK7E6DQp1rYxA6Mz32CagCihJSjUEkrSaDoRVPsXbN24OZnl.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"><figcaption class="body-normal text-gray-500 mt-2">Photo credit to Kindel Media for Pexels</figcaption></figure>For something high level, there’s an AI device called Elli*Q which is currently sold in the US (expanding to the UK and Canada soon). With a price point of about $900, it tracks medications, shares photos and messages, and has community activities like bingo. The monthly subscription of $40-60 can be rich for some budgets, but it looks fun and seems very interactive. There appears to be a 1-year contract after which you can pay month to month or cancel. Some people may qualify for free or reduced service fees. Check the link below for more information about Elli*Q.If you’re interested in learning how AI can enhance your every day, AIReviewly has published a fantastic list of AI apps that are broken down into categories. There’s some helpful information about what each app does and the estimated cost of running them. See below for their list with clickable links straight to the companies selling the tech. <h3>Don't be fooled</h3>There are some key things to remember when trying to decide if something is AI generated, like a field of flowers, or if it's a misleading deepfake. Does it make sense?&nbsp;Assume everything is a fake until you can verify it from reliable sources. Would Mother Teresa say she bought at AR15? Use Google to fact check it. What about the scene?Are there shadows where you expect them? &nbsp;If it’s windy and the trees are blowing but someone’s hair isn’t? Skies are beautiful, but is this over the top? Look at the details closely.Zoom in. AI is terrible at recreating hands, especially fingers. Details are often unusual, like an eye looking wonky or a dolphin with two noses. What is the source?If the source is from a name you know, like ABC, Reuters, CBC or BBC, it is more likely to be real. But if the source is mrsbaloney@tiktok, it might not be real. Question it.Bodycam and doorbell cameras hide a lot of AI flaws, so be wary of those videos in particular. Watch forDisappearing hands and things like weird looking signs or flickering bits. &nbsp;If words don't sync with a moving mouth, be suspicious.&nbsp; Should you report deepfakes?You can report deepfakes, but investigators will only be interested in significant issues that are worth their time, so consider your level of concern carefully. Acts of financial fraud or intention to harm should always be reported.&nbsp;In the UK, you can get in touch with Police.UK for more information about deepfakes, fraud, scams, and other illegal online activities.www.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/online-safety/online-safety/deepfakes-what-is-a-deepfake/deepfakes-reporting-it-to-us/In the US, things are a bit more complicated, but for more information check outhttps://firstamendment.mtsu.edu/post/dealing-with-deepfakes-what-the-first-amendment-says/In Canada, you can report deepfakes to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre is you suspect fraud or cybercrime.https://antifraudcentre-centreantifraude.ca/index-eng.htm <h3>Toggle off or off grid?</h3>In some cases, you can block AI interaction. Do a search for your device and instructions to turn off the technology. You can usually do that in your settings on your device. Remember that AI is already working behind the scenes in many different arenas, so it will be hard to rid ourselves of this growing technology. The only way to avoid AI is to go off grid. <figure id="figure-vrhz3yptrmh7x5fxo"><img id="vrhz3yptrmh7x5fxo" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/11oU9mZTxqmWQPcNxctgwjfPHYZWgcJzIlrO8uOvXeq40UpUJyiK0rIGcGq4S9sk.jpg" alt="Greenhouse Sanctuary in the Forest" title="Greenhouse Sanctuary in the Forest" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="Photo credit to Randy Ortiz for Pexels" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/11oU9mZTxqmWQPcNxctgwjfPHYZWgcJzIlrO8uOvXeq40UpUJyiK0rIGcGq4S9sk.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"><figcaption class="body-normal text-gray-500 mt-2">Photo credit to Randy Ortiz for Pexels</figcaption></figure> I don’t want to submit to artificial intelligence. Gosh, I have a hard enough time managing my own intelligence. But in my view, we don’t have a choice. It’s here and it’s either going to be great or its going to suck. We older gals don’t want to be swept up in the tide of AI so it’s best that we learn what we can and use AI tools to our advantage.Of course, we can always give our phones away, sell our TVs and computers, and live a quiet life in the country without devices of any kind. Just stop using technology entirely. But consider the consequences carefully.I’m not giving up my spreadsheets or handwritten notes, but I’m going to embrace AI carefully and pay attention to what’s real and what’s fake. Here’s a bit more info you might find helpful.&nbsp;&nbsp;2 https://www.50plusmagazine.co.uk/10-ways-ai-can-empower-you-after-50-at-work-at-home-and-everywhere-in-between/ 3 https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbestechcouncil/2025/02/28/five-ai-innovations-that-will-redefine-healthcare-in-2025/ 4 https://elliq.com/pages/free 5 https://aireviewly.com/rankings/ai-for-seniors.html

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